Friday, December 30, 2016

2016...The year that didn't work

Frustration, no focus, no motivation, contribute to an un-admirable year.

There was no way out. It was inevitable as years are concerned, that 2016 would be a frustrating one. After a tough 2015, there was considerable pressure for me to set new PR's, career improvement and developing new relationships. I struggled from the start. It seemed I was attempting to juggle a flaming stick, a knife and Hannibal Lecter all at the same time. All dangerous things! I found out the hard way that I'm at my best when I focus on one thing at a time. Lesson learned.

That wasn't the only problem I had. Over the years I've battled anxiety and depression. Since the beginning of 2015 something just hasn't felt right. Maybe the reality of turning 40 caught up to me? The pressure of keeping up with the Joneses? Whatever the case, it was clearly having an impact on my day-to-day life.

What's been tough on me this year, has been all the weddings. I can't recall a year where everyone and their third cousin got married. While I was happy for those who did, it also served as a hard dose of reality. I mentioned my struggles in regards to that angle in my life last year. Nothing happens overnight. If turtle had to get from point A to point B, it will get there...eventually.

In the meantime, it's apparently taken a toll on me socially. Perhaps I unintentionally drove people away, due to erratic behavior. Due to the pressure of keeping up with everyone and fitting in. Dealing with my social anxieties and insecurities. Whatever the case may be, I was not out and about as much as I've been in the past. Maybe I need to be a better friend in hopes of reinstating my self on guest lists?

In Previous years, I could be spotted in social circles...

But in 2016, I seemed to have disappeared...

Despite all the short comings of 2016, I'm already confident 2017 will be better! My plan is to focus on one thing at a time. Emotionally I'm doing better. Obviously, I got to lose weight before I turn into King Hippo. I've been down that road before, so I'm comfortable with it. As far as running is concerned, eventually I'll return to it. At this point I don't know when? When the time comes, I still have aspirations of running 100 miles and completing an Ironman.

With that said I hope everyone has a Happy (and better) New Year in 2017!

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